


Darling, I wasn't going to do it.

by Adalines_fifth



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Attempted suicide Kara hasn't told Lena about her identity, F/F, Fights
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-04
Updated: 2019-11-05
Packaged: 2021-01-23 00:22:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21311053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Adalines_fifth/pseuds/Adalines_fifth
Summary: Lena can't stand the pain and betrayal from having Kara lied to her and decides she just can't take it anymore.
Relationships: Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor
Comments: 7
Kudos: 295





	1. Chapter 1

It had been a couple of weeks since Lena found out the truth about Kara, she had done her best at trying to remain cool and composed. It was harder than she’d thought.

On game nights where Supergirl was needed all of her so called friends would smile at her as they helped Kara cover up why she had to leave all of sudden to get pizza despite having some left in the boxes. Lena of course played oblivious as she usually did. She smiled and said it wasn’t a problem an let the hero off to do her job.

She felt deeply and utterly betrayed by those around her, those people who made her trust them and made her believe that she too could be family. They all took her as a fool.

Currently Lena was at her office looking through some paperwork, her mind was plagued with thoughts of deceit and betrayal. Her brothers last words, he couldn’t let her be happy even as he left this world.

Lena felt a wave of anger and sadness roll over her like a tsunami. She was waiting for it to calm down so she could get herself under control. She shut her eyes tightly as she balled her fist making her knuckles turn white on top of her desk. A tear manage to escape rolling down her cheek.

Lena could feel she was loosing herself. She tensed her jaw to the point her teeth could actually break before throwing everything that covered her desk to the floor and letting out a pained scream that came from deep in her chest.

She began to break, throw and smash everything in her office in a fit of rage. It was late at night, no one was in the building to witness her breaking point.

She took a gun out of her drawer as she absent mindedly brought it up to her temple, she had her finger tight on the trigger. She thought about the enormous pain she was in, how her throat constantly had a knot in it. How all she could think about Kara and how to get back at her. 

It tore her up inside cause she knew she loved Kara more than anything and Kara couldn’t even come clean about her biggest secret, a part of her identity.

Lena was tired, beaten and abused. She worked so hard for a world who never even thanked her. She trusted again despite she had no reason to. Her family wasn’t near what a real family should be. She was alone in the world. Sometimes the world just really did keep hitting you while you were down and Lena finally couldn’t take it.

Everything went eeriely silent as she took in a soft deep breath pressing harder on the trigger as she filled her lungs with oxygen. She heard the *click*, but nothing came after that.

She opened her eyes as she felt a warm breath against her temple. Her office lights were out, she could see the figure in front of her with the bright moonlight that was shinning through the floor to ceiling windows.

Supergirl's eyes were brimming with tears , Lena followed Supergirls hand where she had her finger pressed against the barrel on the gun, she stopped the bullet before it even made it out of the gun.

“Why?” Said Supergirl, her voice sounded raw. Like she was in pain.

Lena just opened and closed her mouth a few times unable to form any sentences. Supergirl took the gun from her hand launching it over the balcony. She grabbed Lena's face with both hand bringing their foreheads together.

“Why were you going to this Lena?” said Supergirl sternly, her voice was a mix of worry, anger and sadness. Lena looked into those baby blue eyes, they were in so much pain. How could she not have noticed that Kara was also torn.

Lena brought a hand over one of Kara’s. She leaned into the touch a bit more as she softly closed her eyes.

“Some nights sorrow catches up to me, I’m sorry darling I didn’t mean to frighten you.” Said Lena softly trying to assure the hero that she had no intention in hurting herself.

“You pulled the trigger.” Said Supergirl, it was more rhetorical than a real question.

“…but I’m here.” Said Lena stoking the hero’s arm reassuringly.

Supergirl then fell on her knees, she Lena’s waist as she softly sobbed in the woman’s stomach. Lena was shocked, she wasn’t sure why the hero was so devastated.

“Forgive me Lena, please. I’ve been a coward and selfish. I know you know who I am. I didn’t want you to get hurt because of me. But then you started arguing with Supergirl and you still loved Kara, it thought that I could keep you if I was only Kara to you.” Said Kara stumbling through her words through sobs and hiccups. She said it with so much conviction that not even the most angry person in the world could dare say it was a lie.

Lena looked up as she attempted to not shatter right here in front of Kara. She closed her eyes as she tried to stave off the tears that were close to being spilled, but the emotion caught her. She let out a sob which she quickly covered with her hand. 

She brought the other hand down to stroke Kara’s hair making the hero look up. Lena looked down at her as she spoke softly.

“I’m madly in love with you, Kara. I am terribly hurt by the ideas that I’ve made up in my head long before you could tell me the real reason as to why you did what you did. I understand why you did it and I am sorry we’ve gotten to this before this could be anything.” Said Lena stroking the hero’s chin. She saw as Kara’s eyes gleamed with tears, Kara stood straight as she pulled Lena close to herself in an almost crushing hug.

Lena felt some of that pain fade away as Kara hugged her, she could feel that they still had a chance at being happy. She melted into the hug.

“I love you so much, Lena. I couldn’t bear losing you. As a hero we always think about our weaknesses, how other could bring us down to our knees without having to lay a finger on us; since the day I met you I knew that whoever found out that I loved you would have the ability to kill me without using kryptonite. That’s why I didn’t want to tell you who I was at first, I knew that if they could use you that I wouldn’t be able to bear it. I’ve been in love with you since the first time we met.” Said Kara softly next to Lena’s ear.

Lena was stunned with Kara’s confession. She felt Kara place a kiss to her cheek hastily followed by two more that inches closer to her mouth before she felt Kara press their lips together. Their lips interlocked perfectly, she wrapped her arms around Lena’s waist making her stand on her tip toes. 

After a while they pulled back softly to catch their breaths. Kara still held Lena close to her, their eyes were closed still in the hazy state after their kiss with their forehead pressed together. Kara then picked Lena up and began to walk to the balcony. Lena had unconsciously wrapped her arms around Kara’s neck.

Kara took softly to the sky as they flew in silence to wherever Kara was taking them. Once Kara touched floor Lena looked around, they were at Kara’s apartment. Kara walked them to her room where she sat Lena on the bed and still in her hero attire began to rummage through her drawers handing her some pajamas.

They changed quickly, they had been quiet after their kiss. Kara got into bed and lifted the sheets coaxing Lena to get in with her. Lena got in as she was getting herself suited she felt Kara press against her back and throw and arm over her waist pulling her flushed against her front.

Lena felt herself overwhelmed by the rollercoaster of emotions she had been put through. She began to cry without trying to hide. She cried like she meant it and Kara held her through it whispering sweet nothings and stroking her softly.

She heard “I love you, Lena. We’ll work through everything little by little.” Before she went to sleep.


	2. Exploding kittens and panic attacks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's game night and Kara has to attend to some superhero duty and has to leave, how will Lena react to this trigger?
> 
> Or where Lena gets the comfort she deserves.
> 
> WARNING PANIC ATTACK DESCRIPTION.

It was game night Lena sat on a chair with Kara sitting by her legs. They were playing this horrible card game called exploding kittens, Kara was terribly excited and scared.

She and Alex were the only ones left and the remaining cards were kittens and quite honestly no one knew for sure who would win. Lena watched in drunk amusement sipping her wine as Kara anxiously thought about her next move. Alex was looking impatient like she’d physically throw herself at Kara if she didn’t do anything soon.

Everything came to a stop when we heard a couple of gunshots a few blocks away. Kara immediately stopped and changed into her super suit.

“I’ll be right back, Lee.” Said Kara quickly placing a peck on Lena’s lips and flying out the window. Everyone got up scattered to grab some drinks and snacks. 

Lena hadn’t stood up, she gazed out the balcony where her girlfriend had just flown out of. She heard bottles clinking behind her which brought her out of her thoughts that were spiraling down a rabbit hole. She looked behind her and saw the super friends making a toast.

Lena felt a pang of pain, she was reminded of all the times Kara would leave with some pretext of having a meeting, leads, urgent calls, etc. Her nose began to tingle, she found herself unconsciously rubbing her nose. Her heart began to beat faster and her breathing was a bit labored.

Lena was having a panic attack and she knew it, her panic just got ten times worse as she realized she was in a room full of people that didn’t consider her family and they would see her fall apart.

Lena got up quietly trying to go by unnoticed, she made a swift stride to the bathroom and locked herself inside. Lena placed her hands on the edge of the sink as she concentrated on her breathing. She splashed some cold water on her face, she then out of nowhere began to shake and full on sob. 

She sat on the floor between the wall the sink, she brought her knees against her chest as she sobbed silently. She heard a gush of wind outside, she wanted to hurry and come outside. She knew Kara could hear her, could even see her for God’s sake.

She got up and began to furiously wipe away her tears. She then heard a soft voice come from behind the door.

“Don’t worry, Baby. If you feel like crying, go ahead and cry. I’m right here in case you need me.” Said Kara softly, she gently rubbed her finger on the door in an attempt to feel something is  
of Lena.

Lena took a minute to clear the knot in her throat before speaking up, she whispered. “I need you.” Said Lena so quietly that no one would’ve heard it if they had normal hearing.

Kara opened up the door to find Lena looking a little out of sorts leaning with her back on the sink. She saw how fragile she looked right now. Kara walked in closing the door behind her and pulled Lena into a tight hug.

“It’s alright, Honey. It’s okay to feel like this. If you feel uncomfortable you can go home, no hard feelings.” Said Kara as softly and calmly as she could. Lena had her face buried against Kara’s chest so when she spoke even Kara couldn’t understand what she said.

“I need to witness what’s going to happen between you and Alex.” Said the Luthor with such a serious tone that someone would think she was talking in a meeting. Kara gave her a huge smile making her eyes to the squint.

“I already X-rayed Alex’s cards. I’m going to win.” Said Kara, her excitement was that of a puppy. Lena smiled and felt her uneasiness begin to fade with every breath she took.

They walked out together hand in hand to the living room where Alex got obligated and had a tantrum just like a child.

It was late and Alex being the last one to leave bid her farewell and left with Kelly.

“That was fun.” Said Lena a giving Kara a soft dimpled smile.

“Yeah, I wasn’t expecting Alex to shoot the deck of cards…14 times.” Said Kara grimacing at her sisters recklessness.

“Yes, I found that a bit excessive. My ears are still ringing.” Said Lena wincing as she tuned into the background ringing in her ears.

“Btw do you mind if we go out somewhere?” asked Kara nervously rubbing her hands together.

“Where to? If I may ask, my love.” Said Lena with intrigue and mischief in her voice.

“I’d like to keep it a surprise.” Said Kara gently pulling Lena along with her to the window.

“Let me grab my coat, we’re not all super beings that are as hot as the sun.” Said Lena pushing Kara away just as she was going to carry her bridal style.

Kara just smiled and watched Lena walk over to their coat wrack and throw a long black trench coat with interior wool lining. The coat was a bit more wood chopper vibe, but it mixed well with Lena’s silk pajama pants and shirt.

Lena jumped into the supers arms. They flew for about 40 minutes. They arrived to a beautiful green field where a little wooden cabin stood. 

They landed just in front of the cabin where Kara opened the door for Lena to walk in.

The cabin was small and beautiful. It was homey and warm. The air was fresh and clean. Lena looked in awe as the house emanated a yellow orangey glow. It had a bunch of could only be described as fairy lights.

She walked in the middle of the cabin, she loved it. She heard Kara clear her throat behind her. Lena turned around to look at the super. She was shocked when she saw Kara.

Kara was on her knee with a small black box in her hands containing a gold ring with a beautiful small diamond.

“Will you marry me, Lena Luthor?’ Said Kara with tears in her eyes and a quivering lip. She sucked in her bottom lip waiting for the woman’s response. 

Lena leaned down and pressed a kiss to Kara’s lips. 

“Yes, I’ll marry you.” Said Lena through wet giggles. 

Kara picked her up and spun her around in circles. That night Lena and Kara slept blissfully next to each other.


End file.
